Put simply, I am an advocate for the best long-term outcome for you and your children when looking through a very long lens. It’s about figuring out where you are now, what you want/need (now and into the future), and how best to reverse-engineer the divorce structure you need today in order to take you where you want to go in the future. It’s highly supportive, judgment-free, and confidential. It’s also about making sure you feel heard, informed, and helped every step of the way.
I call it “360° divorce help,” and it’s a lot more practical and concrete than it sounds. Ultimately I see my job as demystifying the divorce process (and its consequences), clearing away confusion, and sharing knowledge/insights so that you are empowered to make the best choices for you and your family for the long run.
Yes, and no.
First, I will give you a gold star if you can convince me what "divorce coaching" means. To the American Bar Association, it has this definition. To some in the "certified divorce coaching" industry, it can seem that only someone completing a specific program is a true "divorce coach." (There are many of these programs, thus many certifications... you see the problem.) To those in Collaborative Practice, a "divorce coach" is required to be a mental health professional - which would disqualify a great many practicing "divorce coaches".
Second, I'm a lifelong wordsmith and I just don't like the word "coach" so I choose not to use it. I provide many of the same services, but I would like to see the divorce world move away from sports analogies like "sides," "wins," "losses," and "coach." It's the wrong message. Most families have no business being thrust into an adversarial litigation system, and I'm doing my small part to try to keep people out of it.
Think of it this way: A coach tells a player what to do; I don't. A coach has a hierarchical rank; I'm not above anyone. I provide information, insights, and guidance - but the decisions are yours. And if you don't feel like I'm right by your side, then suddenly I'm doing this wrong.
Do I provide coaching services? I do. But consider me your friendly neighborhood "consultant" while I'm doing it.
Not at all! For many years I did, as an unintended consequence of how I fell into the field in the first place, but I added multiple non-female clients in 2023. Unfortunately, I don't gather public feedback from current clients, so only time will enable me to diversify the website Testimonials. In the meantime, please know that I welcome everyone! If you are going through a divorce or major separation, I would be honored to help you through it.
This has actually been a difficult issue. I began helping people in 2017, initially via word of mouth and personal referrals. When professionals began referring clients to me, in early 2021, I formed White Horse Divorce and began to build a website. But then something happened.
I had two clients in 2021 with domestic violence concerns. The first had a spouse with a history that made her afraid to ask for divorce. The second had a perfectly peaceful relationship with her spouse....until she told him she wanted a divorce. In both cases, the clients did not feel electronically safe from snooping spouses. I decided to pivot to protect clients like these: I secured a business name and email address without the word "divorce"...I took the word off my business cards and struck it from my bio...and the dominoes fell from there. By early 2022, I had changed my consulting company to WHD Consulting.
For three and a half years I have refrained from marketing, having a web presence, and any mention of "divorce consulting" in my public bio or social profiles. Most clients find me via referrals from therapists who know what I do, and the rest are referred by other/former clients. But it's an inelegant solution.
To begin with, men don't know they can come to me because these pipelines stem from my earliest days helping women. Second, colleagues and professionals are always asking for a WHD Consulting link they can send to their clients. Ultimately, I concluded that I need to be public about what I do and find creative solutions to protect clients in tricky situations (which I continue to do). So now I have a website.
I absolutely am. I can help people all over the world.
The majority come to me prior to filing for divorce (if they're seeking it or if it's mutual) or immediately upon learning they are headed for divorce (if the spouse is the one who wants it). This is the best time for me to be able to provide maximum assistance - in those critical first weeks or months, when many consequential decisions are made. That said, I can help you at any stage of the process or even after you have your decree, depending on your needs and circumstances.
My standard rate is $275/hour, but I discount it to $250/hour for referrals and I will do the same for the introductory year of the website (through December 31, 2025). I use a retainer structure because I found it works the best for nearly everyone. A primary theme of my work is keeping costs down via smart decisions, and I will carry that into our relationship as well. (I am also a relentless problem solver so it isn't a prolonged engagement like, say, therapy.) I’m happy to answer questions at any time.
It really varies. I had one lovely client for over 3 years, but that's not the norm. I am extremely practical and solutions-oriented, so endless engagements are unsatisfactory for me and expensive for you. I would say most clients maintain an active relationship with me for 4 months to a year; many consult regularly in the beginning and as-needed after they feel settled. Getting you to feel settled is a top priority.