If you try any of the recommendations on this page and have a particularly good or bad experience, please let me know. Likewise, if an open-source resource or book that is not listed here has helped you or someone you know, I’d love to know that as well.
CLICK ON AN AREA BELOW TO FIND WHAT YOU NEED.
☞ SUPPORT
Below are support groups that have caught my eye over the years. I hope they will serve you well. (If anything has changed that affects the accuracy of my description(s), please let me know.)
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- CircleUp—weekly virtual groups led by licensed therapists; free trial then paid; coed
- WomensDivorce Forum—free chat forum for women with some key drawbacks: chat threads are 100% visible to anyone in the public, and anyone can post on any thread (man, woman, troll) with no verification, email address, or barrier to entry
- DivorceCare and DivorceCare4Kids—Christian support organization with group meeting programs for adults or kids (ages 5-12) in your area or online; coed
- SupportGroups—this platform does have a Divorce category, although I’m not sure how active it is; coed
- MidLife Divorce Recovery—paid service for women experiencing mid-life divorce
- Reddit: r/Divorce—free forum good for people already familiar with Reddit; active; coed
- MySupportForums—free; not sure how active it is; coed
- Talk About Marriage—free forum for all marriage-related topics and may be useful for those not yet definite on divorce; active; coed
- Marriage Builders—support site focused on marriage and keeping people together, a possible resource for couples hoping to reconcile
❖ If you are in a significantly bad way―Please take advantage of the three-digit Suicide and Crisis Hotline: call or text “988”
❖ If you are in a domestic abuse situation―Consider the following outlets for immediate help:
❖ If you have questions or are unsure about a potential domestic violence or sexual abuse situation―this is a helpful place to start:
❖ If you additionally face a financial dilemma within an abusive relationship―these two articles provide some good guidance:
☞ ATTORNEYS
The only place I know for vetted family law attorneys is the Amicable Divorce Network, for those of you willing to commit to staying out of court. Otherwise, the links below are good places to start if you need a divorce litigator in your area. You will want to make sure they are (i) actively licensed in your state and (ii) experienced in your county. Another note of caution: some lawyers on these pages will have paid to be listed there—always interview first for qualifications and a good fit!
☞ FINANCIAL ADVISORS
If you need financial help, a good place to start would be the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst website. The National Association of Divorce Professionals is another option.
☞ THERAPISTS
For divorce specialists, try the following networks:
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- Psychology Today
- National Association of Divorce Professionals
- TherapyTribe (plug “Divorce” into the dropdown box)
- Mental Health Match (start the search using your zip code; when you get to “specific concerns,” choose “Life events or experiences”; on the next page choose “Divorce / Breakup”)
If you can’t locate a good divorce therapist, don’t worry: a generalist will get you through! Virtual therapy services have burgeoned in recent years, so you may have luck with something like Talkspace or BetterHelp. Also, you might have a friend or family member who can recommend a good therapist in your area.
Always remember to check with your insurance to see if these services are covered; your insurer will also have a list of in-network therapists in your area.
☞ REAL ESTATE PROFESSIONALS
You may be in need of a real estate agent and/or real estate attorney. This is a good article on the subject. To search for a specialist, try these sources:
☞ OTHER PROFESSIONALS
I do not personally subscribe to the idea that you need a huge team of professionals to get you through divorce, but there are occasions that call for more specialized help. Divorce Amicably has an extensive list of vetted professionals in many divorce-related areas.
☞ LEGAL RESOURCES
You can learn a lot online about the way divorce works in your state. The links below are will be very helpful, especially (but not exclusively) if you plan to pursue a DIY split.
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- Online divorce
- Another online divorce source (uncontested divorces)
- Online legal forms
- Find laws by state (scroll to bottom)
- Lots of information on family/divorce law
- Even more information on family/divorce law
- Various divorce resources by state
Your state government website might also be of help to you, especially if you are trying to do things on your own. (For example, Illinois residents can go here for guidance on DIY divorces in my state.) For your local rules and processes, Google your county’s name plus “family court” to be guided to the family court in your jurisdiction.
☞ HELPFUL READING
Below are books I have bought with my hard-earned dollars, and there is a wealth of insight in them! I can’t promise I have read every one all the way through, so if you have a strong reaction to any on my list (positive or negative), go ahead and let me know—who knows, you may be ahead of me.
Toggle a category to see its list. I don’t get commissions for clicks (or I would tell you), but I added the links to make it easy. I’m always happy to help an author find readers!
📚 DIVORCE TIPS & STRATEGIES
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- Divorce at 50—Your Guide to the Unique Legal & Financial Challenges of a Gray Divorce, NOLO
- Divorce, Holistically Yours—Learn Essential Knowledge of the Legal Process and How Divorce Can Be a Catalyst for Your Soul’s Evolution, P. Pacetti
- Divorce, Simply Stated—How to Achieve More, Worry Less, and Save Money in Your Divorce, L. Sarezky
- Divorce the Fair Way—How to Achieve A Clean Break, K. Stewart
- Giving Evidence in Family Court, M. Watson
- I Just Want This Done—How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money, and Minds, R.D. Palmer
- Strategies and Tips from a Divorce Coach: A Roadmap to Move Forward, J. W. Medwin
- The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Divorce—A Therapist and a Lawyer Guide You Through Your Divorce Journey, Murray and Dodge
- The Low-Cost Divorce Solution—How to End Your Relationship Without Getting Screwed by Your Partner, Your Lawyer or Your Mind, A. McLean
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📚 LEGAL PROCESS
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- Giving Evidence in Family Court, M. Watson
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📚 FINANCES
📚 CHILDREN
📚 HIGH-CONFLICT DIVORCE / DIFFICULT SPOUSE
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- How to Divorce A Narcissist and Win, M. Sarantakis
📚 WELLBEING & RECOVERY
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- You Got This—Healing Through Divorce, W. Boole
Note #1—There are likely more resources listed for women than men. This is because I historically worked with more women than men, so I am particularly interested in adding strong resources for men if you would like to pass those along for me to consider.
Note #2—I do maintain a personal referral database of excellent professionals. I connect my clients with these trusted professionals when I believe it will be a good fit, and I can’t see value in converting in-person relationships to an impersonal, public-facing database. The good news is that there are still plenty of resources I have gathered that I am happily listing here for any of you who may need them.